How can you calm yourself from anger? I get so mad over the smallest things, I stress over it and I sometimes cry.

Feeling anger is normal. Try not to get sad because you are feeling normal feelings.

It might be overwhelming or annoying if you feel you are being oversensitive or easily angered. But the questions would be:

  • Have you always experienced anger this way
  • Have you always been oversensitive or easily angered?
  • Is there a pattern to the anger? For example, is a certain person making you feel angry, certain situations, etc.
  • Is there another pattern to the anger? For example, is it correlated to your monthly cycle (men and women have hormone cycles), is it correlated to the phases of the moon (a lot of people are sensitive to lunar phases), etc.

Then to calm yourself when you feel angry:

  • The first thing to do is to feel, harness and accept the anger. It is okay to feel angry. So, let yourself feel angry.
  • Then explore it a little: why do I feel so angry? why am I feeling upset? what triggered the anger? Ask the anger and feelings.
  • Then breathe (and breathe while you explore above), focus on your breathing in and out. Breathe slowly. Try counts. Start with short counts like: in for 4 counts, hold for 3 counts, out for 4 counts and work your way up to: in for 6 counts, hold for 8 counts, out for 10 counts. And keep focusing on breathing.
  • I would also recommend journaling, so you will notice patterns and also write out your feelings so they are not being repressed.

And when you feel it coming on (you probably have some sensations before you fully experience the anger, explore that too. When you feel the sensations and rising of anger – breathe and start exploring “what of this situation or moment is making me feel upset?” etc.



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