I received a great feeling of comfort today. After yesterday’s bug situation and me being in total “freak out” mode after both the bug situation and tons of shopping for the week (or longer); I received some comforting words from one of my clients via Instagram (and one through FB too). I think it was very validating for me and it brought me to a place of validation and awareness. I had too much mind heat (pitta mind in Ayurveda) yesterday which showed in my face (major heat and redness) and she brought me to a place of feeling a sigh of relief. After I read that comment I started thinking things through even clearer and found I needed to remind myself of a few things:
- Stop putting SO MUCH pressure on myself 24/7
- Have self-compassion
- Rest my mind
In this light, I did what I sometimes do and I wrote (the above) on my arm with a kids tattoo marker I got at a craft store. This will serve as a reminder for me over the next few days until it washes off – to be more compassionate towards myself, to cut myself some slack, to stop putting so much pressure on myself and to rest my mind. (After it washes off, I should really re-write it on there.)
This morning (before all of this) I told myself I would conquer over the bug situation. We killed what was likely a roach and it’s my first roach experience. Thankfully there was only 1, it’s dead and we haven’t had any other sightings. We live in a fairly new building that is well maintained and we haven’t heard of any roach issues. There are two working hypotheses: One is that another apartment has them and we got a random straggler. Two, we somehow picked this one up from either BJ’s or Market Basket yesterday and he came home with us. We are working on getting an exterminator to further investigate this and make sure it was one and done.
But, I don’t do well with bugs, they are a huge trigger for me. Ever since I was little, I feared bugs. All of them. Ants because there isn’t usually just one but a bunch of them. Spiders because they are creepy. Centipedes because they are gross and so on.
Needless to say, this morning I was on a mission to use the kitchen and if it meant I saw a bug, so be it. Thankfully, no bugs. Keep in mind I am the type of person to avoid bugs or the thought of them and so at an attempt to not avoid things, I used the kitchen.
Then I noticed Jinx was oddly focused on something outside and we had a dove on our balcony! This was great luck and a super sign. I am grateful the dove hung out with us this morning and afternoon with several long visits. I am pretty sure Jinx had a blast. He hasn’t seen this much bird activity since the summer. (There’s a picture of him on IG bird watching.)
I think the roach was a test. I think it was also a sign of survival. (Honestly, if I weren’t afraid to see a picture of one up close and personal, I would research the shamanic meaning of it. But I haven’t seen one up close and would like that to remain a mystery.) Why do I think it was a sign of survival? Despite my fiance crushing him (which took 2 tries), roaches are known for their ability to survive horrid situations and even have been referenced as being able to survive nuclear war. I think it is a good sign about survival for us all right now given the current pandemic situation.
If you pair the survival sign with the dove, I think we all get a great message there. I have hope that these signs will end up serving us well and that when all is over and we have survived, peace and healing will take place. (P.S. I truly believe we are working on surviving, peace and healing right now – all of us – even though it isn’t over yet. But for these signs to occur within 24 hours, I think it’s a good sign.)